I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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KILL WHITEY

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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No

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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