Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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