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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

What's in there? Get outta there...

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

Knock knock, come in.

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

A baby seal walks in to a club

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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