Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Global Warming.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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My life

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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