If life hands you lemons Take them

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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ekoj

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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does this look unsure to you?

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer.

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The

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

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I Love Hitler.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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The Aristocrats

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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