What happened to the twins? 9/11

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Your Mom

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops