What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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A storm be brewin!

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops