Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

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Golf.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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