Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops