Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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