What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's old and wrinkly? old people

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stop driving smart cars you fags

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops