What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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Justin Bieber.

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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There's a mexican and african american in a car. Who's driving? A cop.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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