Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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