Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Knock Knock.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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