- Anti Joke

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

What is white and black and red all over.

What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u