Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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