What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

Women's rights.

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

Carlton

This site is hilarious oh wait...

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

ceiling mounted bonerss CC

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...