Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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Goat balls.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops