Women's rights

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

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what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

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noodles

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Guess what? SHADAP

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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