Dead girls can't say no.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops