What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

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The Labour Party.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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