So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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Poker face

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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KENYAN HEALTHCARE kenyan water kenyan aids-free kenyan we dont have flies around us

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops