Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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