Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

Why did Hitler Kill his self Answer- He got a gas bill By Lewis

There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...