Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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what is 3+3= 8

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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