A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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CHEEZECAKE

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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