mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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