What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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