What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops