Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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knock knock go away!!!

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Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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your mom.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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