What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops