800 people died last year. end of story

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops