A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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