What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...