How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...