Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I like your hair

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate poems Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's in there? Get outta there...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops