Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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youre gay

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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A black man killed someone

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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