What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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What did the businessman at work do when he found out his wife was cheating on him? He stayed in his cubicle and continued to work, because he was a diligent, hard-working man.

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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