What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

thumb_up thumb_down

PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

thumb_up thumb_down

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -4

where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you stop a train? you cant..

thumb_up thumb_down -8

GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

To pen state administraters walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

thumb_up thumb_down -66

All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops