A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

Where to, sir? Forward.

Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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