Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops