A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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