A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

Neither have I

What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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