What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down

There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

thumb_up thumb_down

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down

9/11 my birthday

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down

a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops