I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

No it doesnt..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock who's there? your destiny

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops