Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops