What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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salad days!

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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