A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Global Warming.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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My life

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops