Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

Suck pussy

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

Matthew Wyckoff

Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

one of the idiot

Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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