A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

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your no better than a cockroach

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why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Cripples are lame.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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