Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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