Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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A storm be brewin!

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops